Do you guys remember what it was like four days ago when it felt like Marvel and James Gunn were just going to wait until the premiere to show anyone anything from the upcoming superhero action comedy Guardians of the Galaxy? Apparently releasing that trailer was just the grease that the promotional wheels needed, because more GotG goodies are popping up faster than we can handle them. Today alone has seen a weapons breakdown, Rocket Raccoon’s first words, four character introduction videos, and a poster. Is it out of the question to assume that an official Drax the Destroyer kitchen sink is on the way?
The poster, seen above, is technically a teaser, as it’s a simple enough shot of the five heroes standing around in front of their shit, the Milano. Don’t get me wrong: everyone looks as hardcore as we expect them to, but it’s like the calm before the shit storm. The most remarkable part of it is the “You’re Welcome” printed under the release date. Kind of cocky, but that’s just how James Gunn works. And he’s right.
Now let’s get to the character videos. While Marvel released Peter “Star-Lord” Quill’s intro video last, we’re going to it first, because we’ve got to get used to following a Chris Pratt character around as if he’s a leader. That didn’t happen all that often on Parks and Recreation, so it’s nice to see him playing a role that relies on cunning and brains and not necessarily superpowers.
And now we turn to Drax, played by WWE superstar Dave Bautista. We’ll try not to bother him as he can, well, destroy us. Bautista reinforces the idea that Drax is only living to avenge the death of his family at the hands of Thanos. It’s a good reminder that just because a guy is made of muscles and is almost impossible to physically hurt, that doesn’t mean he can’t be wounded emotionally…while beating the hell out of everything in a 100-yard radius.
Watch how you talk to the green-skinned beauty Gamora, played by Zoe Saldana, as she is likely to replace the back of your neck with a stab wound. She has a “heart of gold,” but that might just be a physical effect that gives the rest of her body its unique color. The Zen Whoberi probably consider gold hearts a sign of murderous intentions.
And finally we have Groot. He is Groot. Sadly, he doesn’t even say his damned line in the video below, he’s only got the one. But Vin Diesel says that “breathing life” into him is great. Strange wording.
Remember all that business last year when Diesel started using social media to stoke the rumor fires, taking pictures with a Groot figure, saying he had meetings with Marvel? Bleeding Cool recently got wind from a Marvel executive that Diesel was essentially bullshitting people the entire time, and that it was in fact the rabid fan interest in his posts that got producers thinking maybe the actor would be a good fit for the mono-sentence uttering tree beast. So you see? Lying pays really, really big sometimes. That’s why I vow, fro here on out, to never tell the truth.
Now if you guys don’t mind rewatching the super duper trailer below, I’ve got a meeting about the Dr. Strange movie, or Ant Man or whatever. Guardians of the Galaxy hits theaters on August 1, the same day you’ll be going to see it.