We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat: Back To The Future Fan Demands 15 Jaws Sequels By 2015
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In 1989, Back to the Future II showed us a great many things that we should expect in the coming years. While we’re not quite to the 2015 we saw in the movie, 2014 is pretty damn close, but most of the things that we saw in that movie still haven’t materialized. We may not get hoverboards by the deadline, but there’s a hover-bike in the works, which is close. One area that we’re pretty far off is in the Jaws department. You may remember that Michael J. Fox’s Marty McFly sees and ad for Jaws 19. At the current count, there are only four Jaws in existence. One intrepid blogger, however, wants to rectify this situation. If movies lie to us, what else do we have?
Tumblrer Ctrayn has issued a challenge to the Internet, or more accurately, a call to arms to nerds and budding filmmakers across the World Wide Web. He seems to think that, collectively, we can crank out another 15 Jaws sequels in a year, in order to remedy this “enormous travesty.” Actually, we even have way more time than that. Marty doesn’t arrive in the future until October 21, 2015, so we have more than a year and a half to complete this task, should we choose to accept it. That’s less than one unofficial Jaws sequel a month. They don’t all have to be good, but I will still watch every single one of them.
Here’s the declaration:
I challenge the geek community, the web community, the YouTube community, the film community, the time travel community, the hypothetical Jaws community, and the local community college to answer my call and create 15 new JAWS feature-length movies before October 21st, 2015.
According to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, American Film Institute, and British Film Institute, a feature film has to be at least 40 minutes long. So even if your film is 40 straight minutes of a rubber shark floating quietly in a bathtub, it still fulfills what I am asking of you in the challenge, and it is still probably a more entertaining watch than Jaws: the Revenge.
So grab your camera phones, a bucket, and that inflatable shark you bought at the dollar store, because it’s showtime. Live-action, stop-motion, puppets, pencil animation, CG, piss on film- it doesn’t matter how you create the movie! Just go and make the 2015 of Back to the Future II a reality.
This is really like extreme fan fiction. Maybe it will evolve into something else entirely, like how Twilight fan fiction gave birth to the ugly baby that is Fifty Shades of Grey, except with sharks, so it’s automatically better. And maybe the terrible erotica will be replaced with terrible gore. I’d rather watch that any day.
Now Jaws is obviously one of the greatest movies ever made, and some fans could take this as an affront to a classic. I get the sentiment, I really do, but if Jaws: The Revenge didn’t take the shine off of that particular diamond, nothing amount of questionable knock offs ever will. And you know that if enough of these get made, while some of them will be complete and total garbage, at least a couple, maybe even more, will be incredible. There are some clever folks out there in Internet land. So there’s your job, get to it. Let us know how it goes.
