If you’ve ever just sat around your house and thought really hard about how cool it would be to do some time traveling, then you’ve probably never thought about two thoughtful hand puppets completely dashing those dreams by explaining just how frustrating time travel can be. Of course, if you watch the above video and then travel back in time to before I said this, then you would have done both of those things. But you would have been aggravated, because time travel is frustrating.
The genuinely amusing YouTube puppet comedy series/blog Glove and Boots has tackled a ridiculous amount of topics over the last couple of years, and have now pinpointed the “10 Reasons Why Time Travel Is No Good.” But instead of paradoxes and the possible effects of grandmothers not being born, Mario and Fafa get into the specifics of why going backwards or forwards in time isn’t relatable to the present version of yourself, for the most part. Meeting yourself in the past would suck, because you probably weren’t as cool as you thought you were, especially to someone older than yourself. Everyone was such a douche back then.
This isn’t a serious breakdown of all the scientific conundrums wormholes would give humanity, it’s about being gross. If you go back to the past — kudos for the Monty Python reference here — everything is disgusting because proper hygiene hadn’t gone widespread yet. And if you go into the future, everyone else has evolved beyond what proper hygiene is now, and now you’re the gross one. Not to mention all the problems with diseases.
For all the satire and goofiness, the points made are well thought out and would effect everyone as an individual, especially people reading stuff like this. Puppets should always be this informative and non-violent. Can you imagine waking up in the middle of a robotic dinosaur park and not having another pair of pants to change into after having soiled the current set?
Check out another one of their videos, “Nine Movies That Make Men Cry,” because it’s funny, and Iron Giant is No. 8. Handkerchief time, people.