If there’s one common complaint about living in the early days of the 21st century, it’s this: where the hell are our flying cars? It’s a refrain echoed by everyone from Kevin Smith to Captain Sisco in that IBM commercial. So while we may not be able to skim down to the mall in an honest-to-gosh flying car, Disney has decided to help supplement this hole in our lives by making a flying-car movie about flying cars called Hovercar. Wait, why didn’t they call it Flying Car? That’s ten times more awesome than Hovercar.
A quick perusal of the Hollywood Reporter story on the matter answers that question. Hovercar is based on a young adult book called Hover Car Racer, written by Matthew Riley and published a few years back. As you would expect, it’s about people who race hovering cars. Specifically, it’s set in a future where they’ve invented cars that can float about four feet above the ground. It’s the story of a fellow named Jason Chaser (ugh) who becomes a champion hovercar racer. So, basically it’ll be Speed Racer except without the wheels (and hopefully less shitty). Disney obviously loves the concept; they’ve been trying to get this movie made since 2004. Now they’ve hired screenwriter Dan Harris (Superman Returns) to adapt it, with Alfred Gough and Miles Millar (Smallville) producing.
It all sounds fun, but seriously, if you’re going to make a levitating car, where’s the fun in keeping it four feet off the goddamn ground? Did Dr. Brown keep the DeLorean four feet off the ground? Did Ridley Scott keep the Spinners four feet off the ground? Did Korben Dallas restrict his taxi cab to an altitude of a mere four feet? They did not! Because it’s un-American! It’s like buying a Ferrari and only driving in residential areas. There’s nothing sadder than a flying car that gets you less elevation than one of those old-timey bicycles with the giant front wheel.