Film Posters Imagine Other Directors At The Helm Of Star Wars Episode VII

By Nick Venable | 7 years ago

I was born in 1982, so while I still consider myself a member of the core audience for the original Star Wars trilogy, I have to give it up to all the people who were the proper age to actually watch them in theaters instead of either not being conceived yet or being a newborn. But I am definitely allowed to sound like an old man in saying, “In my day, we didn’t Star Wars-fuck the life out of the rest of pop culture. Why, I remember when Mad Magazine‘s ‘Star Wars Spectacular’ was something to really look forward to.”

That said, I give all mash-ups equal opportunity, and Lucy O’Brien and Layth Qusai from IGN Australia have reconceived famous film posters to include those most beloved Star Wars characters, passing them off as those directors’ versions of Episode VII. It’s a cheap concept, albeit a well-designed one. I’m surprised Abrams hasn’t shut the site down due to the posters containing words from the English language that are also used in his super-secret production script. And while you’re looking through them all, imagine just how insane each director would make this universe.

Virgin

Personally, I’d love to see the Star Wars gang’s awkward youth in a Freaks and Geeks setting, but I’d watch Chewie bang Catherine Keener any day.

Res

I hate to think of how Lando would get treated in a Tarantino movie. Also, Steve Buscemi — even though he isn’t listed on the poster credits — already kind of looks like a Cantina band member.

Woody

Considering a droid’s age doesn’t inherently add any creep value if one is dating a high schooler, I don’t see how Woody Allen could be involved here.

Burton

Perhaps the only director here who could possibly make a genuinely enjoyable trilogy spin-off, Burton could substitute the Headless Horseman for the Maskless Vader and subvert the whole thing. And for Pete Mayhew’s sake, get Depp out of it.

Taxi

“You shootin’ at me? You shootin’ at me first, Greedo? I’m the only one here.”

Trainspotting

Let’s just make this one long scene with Jar Jar Binks dunking his head in a toilet full of shit.

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