It’s like Hollywood cracked open my skull and made a movie out of the slimy, viscous goo that came oozing out. There are three things that need to be mentioned about Anchor Bay’s upcoming Battle of the Damned, and one or all of them will likely help you decide whether you have any interest in seeing this at all. Dolph Lundgren. Zombies. Robots. Roll each of those around on your tongue for a moment and really let them sink in. Those things either made you giggle or made you groan, and depending on your reaction, you should either rush out to buy a copy of his film when it hits DVD and Blu-ray on February 18, or avoid it like a rat loaded up with plague ridden fleas.
Here is the official synopsis, which should either deepen your excitement or steel your resolve to never see this, depending on which side of the fence you fall:
When a deadly virus is accidentally released into a major city, its population is quarantined by military blockade. And for a wealthy industrialist desperate to rescue his daughter from inside the rabid chaos, his only hope is former commando Max Gatling (Lundgren). Now Gatling has one day to bust in, blast through hordes of the undead, find the girl, and hunt for a way to get them both out alive. But will a small band of survivors and an army of killer robots turn his mission into maximum slaughter?
I have to admit that Battle of the Damned sounds like a pretty good time to me. But as you probably guessed, my taste is wildly suspect. How can you go wrong with a character with an awesomely cheesy tough guy name like Max Gatling, especially when he’s a former commando? It’s almost as ridiculous as Will Smith’s Cypher Raige form After Earth. Anchor Bay had me hooked right there with the silly name, the fact that there are zombies roaming around only sweetens the deal. And I’m not entirely sure where the army of evil robots comes in, or from, but I really, really want to find out. Sure, they look like reject Cylons, but what the hell.
Described as a “battle against flesh and steel,” Battle of the Damned was written and directed by Christopher Hatton, the brains behind something called Robotropolis, which also sounds promising. Co-starring alongside Lundgren are Melanie Zanetti, Matt Doran (The Matrix), David Field (Chopper), Jen Sung (Star Trek), and Lydia Look (Tremors).