Comic shelves are full of serious stories dealing with crime and death, but God Hates Astronauts is here to remind people that this medium need never follow any rules or guidelines in order to produce something genius. Created by writer and illustrator Ryan Browne, God Hates Astronauts started life as a webcomic that felt like something your parents wouldn’t want you reading, and has now become an Image Comics series that plays around with formatting and fourth wall-breaking just as much as it does with its central plot. This is a comic with the onomatopoeic sound effects “Dick Pain!” and “Kosmic Merger!” as well as a surprise exposition-spouting blob named 3-D Cowboy, because he’s in 3-D and wears a cowboy hat. This is as surreally irreverent as it gets.
So let’s try and nail down a logline here. There are a group of astro-farmers looking to blast themselves into space, led by Lord Astro-Farmer, a man persecuted for being involved in a romantic relationship with a giant chicken person. (I’ll let you figure out for yourself how that torrid affair started.) In line to stop him are the NASA-sponsored supergroup the Power Persons Five, led by Space Grass, a half-man/half-ghost cow head. Part of it involves a mystical being called The Impossible, and part of it involves a bunch of crabs heading to Crabulon in a spaceship commanded by Admiral Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger, whose father is King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger. And, you know, cheeseburgers are eaten and other stuff happens.
One of the most original comics I’ve read in a while, if only because Browne casually encompasses anything and everything into his writing, God Hates Astronauts is a constant delight. The raucous humor and foul language are there, the meta humor and clever jokes are there, and there’s just enough spacey super-powered action to balance it out perfectly. It’s one of the few comics where every word is important, from the setting descriptions to the front-page credits, and they’re all funny. Find a copy of this comic as soon as possible, before Space Grass makes more things explode.
The Dark Tower: The Drawing of the Three — The Prisoner #1 (Marvel Comics)
THE DARK TOWER SAGA BEGINS AGAIN…ON EARTH! • Meet Eddie Dean, a troubled young man gifted with the ability to open doors to other worlds. Can he survive family tragedy, haunting addiction, and the deadly forces that conspire to stop him from growing up to challenge the Man in Black? • If you thought the badlands of Mid-World were dangerous, just wait until you experience Brooklyn in the 1960s!
Dejah of Mars #4 (Dynamite Entertainment)
FINAL ISSUE!!! Ruthless! Reckless! Remorseless!
Dejah Thoris will shoot, hack and smash her way to her abducted husband — half a step ahead of the Helium Royal Guard. But the Red Reaper may kill John Carter first trying to extract the secret of his immortality.
And if he can’t do that, he’s taking everyone on Barsoom with him — by activating the giant red cannons buried around the planet! The death-filled conclusion of Mark Rahner’s brutal meditation on life and death after the end of Issus!
God Hates Astronauts #1 (Image Comics)
Ryan Browne’s (The Manhattan Projects, Bedlam) farcical cult-sensation returns with a new story perfect for new readers!
A NASA funded group of arrogant ‘super people’ must stop a rash of farmers that have been using rocket-powered silos to launch themselves into outer space! As these Astro-Farmers fire themselves all over the galaxy, NASA must utilize their every resource (a guy with a ghost-cow head, a bunch of magic bears, and a Chicago cop with robot arms) to avoid an intergalactic incident!
Legendary Star-Lord #3 (Marvel Comics)
The Badoon have captured the Star-Lord! • Sharing a jail cell with a Spartax criminal and a Badoon child aren’t exactly Peter’s idea of a good time… • Luckily, Peter’s got an ace up his sleeve — an ace named Kitty Pryde!
Mars Attacks: First Born #4 (IDW Publishing)
The Martians have come to claim their own and won’t let any humans stand in the way! It’s live free or die time as Ryall and Kieth conclude their alien adventure!
RoboCop #3 (Boom! Studios)
Killian has brought fear back to Detroit. Its people are are mobbing the city to reclaim their guns. RoboCop and Lewis are caught in the middle and everyone has them in their targets! As Killian’s secret plan goes into full effect, Lewis and RoboCop must find a way to uphold a gun law that has brought the city to its knees.
Rocket Raccoon #3 (Marvel Comics)
Everyone’s favorite pistol-packin’ procyon* finally finds himself face-to-face with the intergalactic imposter. • It’s macho ado about everything as Macho Gomez guest-stars and the Ex-Terminators are hot on Rocket’s tail! *Procyon is the scientific term for raccoon, obviously
Rogue Trooper Classics #5 (IDW Publishing)
Clone war! Nu-Earth, a planet ravaged by war, its atmosphere poisoned by chemical weapons. In this battle-scarred landscape, the Norts and Southers fight where only the Genetic Infantrymen can survive unaided. Rogue is one such soldier, and these are his tales… all in color for the very first time! In this issue, Rogue must survive ‘The Petrified Forest’!
The Squidder #3 (IDW Publishing)
The Squidder lies broken and battered as the true enemy finally shows it’s face. Can it be killed when a world war couldn’t stop it before? New allies are found and weapons forged. Battle lines are drawn and loyalties tested as the Squidder deals with his past, his old demons and a small group of squiddly rebels who think they actually stand a chance. Also, finally, tentacles! Lots of them. Plus interesting places to put swords.
Star Mage #6 (IDW Publishing)
JC De La Torre’s thrilling first series of Star Mage comes to a close as all roads lead to the Planet of Sorrows.
The quartet battle for their lives in a final showdown with Orasmas and the Bel Etu — can Darien save his family and friends? Franco Cespedes’ vivid visuals spellbound in this magical finale.
Terminator: Enemy of My Enemy #5 (Dark Horse)
Deliberately walking into a trap to save the life of scientist Elise Fong, ex-CIA operative Farrow Greene finds herself surrounded by metal monstrosities, as she contends with not only the T-800 but a host of other robot enemies reverse engineered by mercenaries!
The Twilight Zone #8 (Dynamite Entertainment)
Diana Westby has tried to avoid doing what she knows is necessary to stop a terrorist attack because she knows that in so doing, she would have to pay the ultimate price. Where do you turn when there’s no one you can trust, and no one who will believe you, and millions of lives are on the line…including yours?
In the fiery fourth-act conclusion to the second Twilight Zone arc, Diana makes a decision that will change the future of the world forever.