Zombies are everywhere. Not only is AMC’s drama The Walking Dead a major ratings monster, the undead are shilling everything from candy to deodorant to multiple major automobiles. It’s a thing. Walking corpses are even being used to promote public safety and disaster preparedness (though one Oregon middle school won’t offer a “zombie survival skills” class for students). If you’re seriously worried about the dead rising and trying to devour your frontal lobe, or if you just like cool stuff, check out these zombie emergency boxes.
Patterned after the “break in case of fire” safety features you find in public places, these are geared more towards the necessity of clubbing someone in the skull rather than dousing flames. Available in a variety of styles, including baseball bats with nails through them, my personal favorites are ones with machetes.
A sturdy Louisville Slugger is nice, but I feel like a strong blade has a wider range of uses. Not only can you use them for zombie hacking, but you can do things like clear a path through the wilderness and cut string. And when don’t you need to cut string after the zombies have taken over?
Each weapon box is hand made in Seattle, by Adam (he’s also a piercer, and will poke holes in you if you give him money). Hit him up via his Facebook page for prices, or if you have something specific in mind. Sorry, no firearms or explosives, there are legal issues to consider. Though one news report recently claimed that zombie paranoia is partially responsible for record setting gun sales, so there’s that.