This Is The Most Badass Barbie Ever

By Brent McKnight | 9 years ago

Over the decades Barbie has gone through some major life and style changes. The iconic Mattel doll has gone everywhere, done everything, and even inspired an annoying bumper sticker championed exclusively by annoying people that says, “When I grow up I want to be like Barbie, that bitch has everything.”

In more recent times, the designers have gone to great lengths to make Barbie accessible to a wider range of young girls, more “real” if you will. Well, it doesn’t get more real than Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) wearing the exosuit cargo-loader, fighting the queen in Aliens. And haven’t you always wondered what it might look like if Barbie stood in for Ripley?

Okay, maybe you haven’t, but artist Mario Caicedo Langer was certainly curious about this. The result is this gaping plasticine smile, orange half-shirt/turtleneck combo, and one kickass hunk of xenomorph-crushing machinery.

Don’t you wish this was a real Barbie? That’s the kind of thing you could get behind and buy your daughter for Christmas or her birthday. The only real knock is that the loader should totally be pink. That would be the cherry on top of the sundae. And Skipper should probably be present, hanging out, looking like Newt. But hey, he can’t do everything for you, got to put the work in sometime.

You can just hear Barbie, in a perky voice that matches her ever-present grin, demanding, “Get away from Skipper, you bitch.”