I suppose it stands to reason that anyone who portrays Adolf Hitler or Pol Pot on film will technically have the highest character kill count, but no one can deny that Arnold Schwarzenegger is high on the list of cinematic causes of death. There’s no real math that went into this estimation, but any actor who gets hired onto a Schwarzenegger movie is facing something around a 65% risk that his character is going to get killed in a most satisfactory fashion. By sword, gun, or being thrown through a door, a death at Ah-nold’s hands is still worthy of respect, since nothing and no one can survive if Arnold decides they need killing. As such, the above supercut video from Internet comedy group Auralnauts is a massive undertaking of hilariously excessive brutality. If Hercules had researched and gathered the information necessary to write 12 different encyclopedias instead of taking on the 12 great Feats of legend, that would be a water droplet on the leaf of a tree in the forest of effort that Auralnauts put into creating this video.
Or something. I actually stopped paying attention to what I was writing after a while, just watching John Matrix fucking destroy people in front of a beautiful garden. Some of these guys are flying not only backwards when they get shot, but also up into the air. In whose fantasy world is Schwarzenegger shooting someone from an angle at which it would be low enough to drive even the bare minimum of upward force into an assailant? Considering the lack of realism that goes into some of these death scenes, nearly every film on here could be labeled as science fiction.
But because we make our bread and butter on stricter definitions (much like the ones the creators stuck to when deciding what deaths went into the clip), all of the classic genre hits are present, and over five minutes of the video’s 28:07 runtime is spent on kills seen in films that we’ve talked about on this site before. And while we don’t talk about Kindergarten Cop nearly enough, that’s on here too. But more importantly, we’ve got both The Terminator and its first two sequels, the never-that-impressive Running Man,
Total Recall, and The 6th Day, which I keep forgetting is a movie, despite it being a pretty decent flick. Also, it’s hard to get Drucker’s never-ending yell out of your head once you hear it again.
Don’t worry. You don’t have to sit through any terrible Mr. Freeze puns from Joel Schumacher’s infinitely horrible Batman & Robin in order to get to the total number of deaths Schwarzenegger is responsible for. You can find the list below, as in 40 below. Zero. Degrees. Brr.
It all equals out to 509 deaths that lay at the feet of the former California governor. And with his Hollywood comeback now fully in effect, we can expect this video to become at least a minute longer in the next few years. If you’re interested in a little background info on the making of the video, and the guys behind Auralnauts, they also put out a version of the supercut with a commentary, which you can find below.