Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars Prequels)
Darth Vader may very well be the greatest villain in movie history. If he’s not, he’s certainly very near the top of that distinguished list. He haunted most of our childhoods, and we still can’t hear that raspy breathing without chills running up our spines. And George Lucas almost ruined that completely. In the original trilogy we learned that Anakin was a powerful Jedi seduced by the dark side of the Force, but I’m pretty sure nobody was envisioning an annoying kid, a spoiled brat, and a whiny, petulant little bastard that you just want to slap the shit out of. After watching the prequels, it’s impossible to ever look at Vader the same way again.
Portrayed by Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace, Anakin is one of the most annoying kids ever to appear onscreen. Child actors aren’t exactly known for being masters of craft, but this is up there as far as bad performances go (and yes, I feel like a dick for picking on child). It’s like Lucas didn’t give a shit about delivery as long as Lloyd said moderately coherent words, and the result is like watching a wooden puppet, but without the charisma.
And Anakin only gets worse over the next two movies when Hayden Christiansen takes over the role. Shit, he makes Lloyd look like Robert De Niro. It’s mind boggling how terrible he is. This young man who we know grows up to be the most fearsome villain in the entire galaxy is the most insufferable wiener you’ve ever encountered. He pouts and complains and it’s impossible not to laugh when he tries to be evil. He’s lucky Padme didn’t kick his sorry ass to the curb.
How We Would Kill Him Off: Lightsaber to the groin.