Worst Celebrity Science Of 2012

By Nick Venable | 8 years ago

january jonesThe jury is still out on whether money can buy you love or not, at least for longer than an hour or two, but I think the era of the 24/7 Celebrity has taught most of us that money damned sure can’t buy you brains. And not like cool sterilized brains in jars, bought off of wonky-looking carnival workers. I’m talking about common sense, that unlearnable part of the human existence that stops you from running out into the street when traffic is hectic, and keeps you from rubbing coffee grounds on your skin in order to combat cellulite. Oh wait, Brit actress Patsy Palmer actually did that.

The science charity Sense About Science has released their annual report on the worst examples of Bad Science as given by those widely seen by the public eye. It’s bad enough that people stumble into idiocy on their own, but celebrities can create impressions on whole swaths of people at once, and if they’re selling garbage, then everybody ends up stinking a little.

Highlight reel…

  • January Jones (Mad Men) reportedly taking placenta pills blew a lot of minds, but little else beyond some iron and toxins, since one of its purposes is to keep those toxins from unborn babies. So, you know, don’t do that.
  • Patsy Palmer actually gave someone the need to say that coffee grounds don’t allow caffeine, which could possibly reduce cellulite, to penetrate the skin in that manner. Are you guys thirsty? Just rub this ice cube on your leg.
  • Simon Cowell, whose genius in garnering TV ratings doesn’t seem to ever apply to his medicinal skills, as well as Olympian Greg Rutherford champion small inhalable bottles of pure oxygen, touted to relieve tiredness and stress, and in Rutherford’s case, led to speedy healing for a knee injury. Though oxygen is used to treat tissue injuries, it’s applied directly, and not through the lungs, which can lead to high levels of oxygen toxicity, which may cause lung collapse or infections. Much like the nefarious “don’t vaccine your kids” malarkey, this shit can be harmful to certain people. Pod people.
  • Cowell also farted out nonsense about getting his house “healed,” essentially putting PhD behind Feng Shui.
  • On the political front, Mitt Romney doesn’t understand how oxygen in airplanes works, Georgia’s Congressman Paul Broun believes Earth is only 9,000 years old, and Rick Santorum thinks that evolution is a political belief, and not proven fact. Someone should probably hip him to the evidence, which has piled up.
  • Gabby Roslin, TV presenter, thinks homeopathy is good for children, while broadcaster/botanist Professor David Bellamy thinks it’s effective compared to usual drugs. Homeopathy is good for people who sell the bullshit that goes along with it. but that’s about it. Placebo effects can be helpful, perhaps. That’s the only thing helping anyone using Kinesio colored sports tape because of its injury-mending powers. Since our inner anatomy is more complicated than a jigsaw puzzle you hold together, I see no reason why anyone could believe in that.

The back end of the mini-mag gives hope, as Jennifer Aniston and musician Una Healey talk up the power of rational eating over fad dieting, while comedian Al Murray understands that if you eat the right things, supplements are redundant. There are others still beyond all I’ve mentioned. Think smart.

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