It’s amazing when you think about how long mazes and labyrinths have been around, their legacy as a lasting pleasure of puzzlement is matched by very few forms of leisure or danger, and few have the same amount of international appeal. The Greeks put a Minotaur at the end of theirs. At least one Spanish guy put a child-eating Pale Man in his. The Brits and Americans teamed up to give David Bowie one. But now a Japanese man’s maze has put all the others to shame.
The few details of this story are unique, and it’s sourced to a Japanese Twitter account, so it’s obviously timeless. User Kya7y tweeted about her father’s painstakingly detailed maze, which took him a whopping seven years to finish. And sure, he probably didn’t devote all of his time to it, but even a brief glance at this 33 x 23-inch behemoth tells you it was more of a passion project than a time-wasting hobby.
Kya7y said her father, who has remained anonymous, completed construction on the maze 30 years ago, and that she currently had 50 copies of it, and she wasn’t sure if the particular way the mazes were printed was still used. Incredibly, the creator himself has never been able to finish his own maze, which is completely understandable, as there aren’t enough ADHD pills in the world to get me through any attempts to complete this thing. Forget the Minotaur. In Japan, the maze itself is the monster. Or maybe that’s in Soviet Russia…
Two more fun facts came out of this story’s immediate popularity on Kya7y’s Twitter page. First, that her father is a janitor for a University athletics department. And — zoom in on my face — there is another maze. (Organ stabs.)
To me, this looks like the DNA strands for H.R. Giger’s aliens. In saying there are miles of lines on this thing, I don’t think I’d be out of line. Line up if you’d line up to buy this should it come out in lines. Line line line line. Get me out of here, David Bowie!