This Robotic Spider Dress Will Almost Certainly Kill Us All

By David Wharton | 8 years ago

As you might expect from our masthead, we like robots here at GFR. But even our love for the most adorable and harmless robots is tempered by the weary certainty that they will eventually rise up and turn us all into livestock. A scary prospect in and of itself, but that much more terrifying now that the horror below is a thing. I give you the robotic spider dress. No, seriously, take it, I don’t want it.

See the model’s placid appearance and dead eyes? Sure, that could just be the look of a weary model who’s been standing around posing for pictures of her wearing Shadowtech on her shoulders all day. But no! There’s nothing human left there, make no mistake. That sucker is wired straight into her nervous system, and now her only thoughts are a ravenous desire to find more hosts for her masters.

Now, we all know that the robotic spider dress is the harbinger of our doom, but here’s the official cover story. The dress was supposedly created by “fashiontech Anouk Wipprecht and hacker & engineer Daniel Schatzmayr,” who describe the dress as:

A prototype of a mechanic dress equipped with sensors indicators and controllers, created with the aim to give more power and ‘psychological thrills’ to the sugar sweet character that performative wearables often have. Sensoric, servo controlled, mechanic, microcontroller based and reacting//attacking upon approach, inspired by the game LIMBO.

A likely story.

We tracked down actor Donald Sutherland to get his take on the dress, and he had this to say:

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