Man Shoots Police Robot, Man Loses

By Nick Venable | Updated


The days of cops risking their lives in dangerous situations involving armed suspects could see an end in the distant future, as our lifeless, robotic brethren are becoming advanced enough to step into the line of fire for us. And by “us” I mean people braver than me, because I’ll be far away from that line of fire, appeasing the Robot Gods by throwing virginal females into a dumpster full of computer parts.

Waverly, Ohio resident Michael Blevins recently had the cops called to his residence to follow up on a complaint that a gunshot and loud threats were heard coming from inside the man’s home. After hours of failed communications, the police, believing Blevins to have several weapons on the premises, decided to evacuate the surrounding houses and send a police robot inside Blevin’s home.

Once the suspect was located, a larger robot was sent in, and the highly intoxicated Blevins opened fire on the robot with a small caliber pistol. I would assume he went for the head, since we all know Tin Men don’t have hearts, but since he was dumb enough to shoot a robot in the first place, all assumptions are off.

When human police finally made it into the home, they arrested Blevins, charging him with
two counts of unlawful possession of a dangerous ordnance (for two AK-47 style rifles and an illegal bullet drum), vandalism of government property, and a few other charges. He should be lucky the robot didn’t stick a finger in the gun barrel, thus making it explode in Blevins’ face. That happens right?