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Man Claims To Have Found Fossilized Bigfoot Head, The Hendersons Have No Comment

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fossilized Bigfoot headWait…does that mean Bigfoot’s dead?

Sniff. Moment of silence, please.

I feel as though that’s the bigger revelation here, really. I mean, if Yetis are immortal, why not Bigfoot too? But you might feel as though I’m begging the question, presuming that Bigfoot actually exists and all.

Don’t ask me — ask Todd May of Ogden, Utah. Last week he waltzed into the Standard-Examiner’s offices to see if anyone would be interested in reporting on a fossil he found while hiking Ogden Canyon. The 49-year-old enjoys hunting for fossils, and in May he dug out a big one — with a face.

May believes he recognizes the 70-pound fossil (Bigfoot’s neck must be massive to hold that thing up!) as belonging to Bigfoot because he’s “ran across him a couple of times.” Do tell!

Apparently, in April of 2011, May was in that same spot in Ogden Canyon when he saw something black and furry moved quickly from behind the bushes. At first he thought it was an escaped gorilla, and then “it dawned on [him] what it was.” Late at night about a month ago at a nearby hot springs, May claims to have seen Bigfoot again. This time, others saw the creature too: “It’s a monster!” another onlooker shouted.

So what is May going to do with his fossil find? He says he’s willing to let scientists have a look at it, but he doesn’t want it to get lost. On the bright side, it’s pretty tough to lose a 70-pound Bigfoot head. Initial scientific opinions have cast some doubt on the nature of the fossil: “I’ll admit that it is the most head-like rock I have seen,” says paleontologist Kenneth Carpenter. The fossil lacks eye socks, nostrils, and evidence of teeth, and if one knocks a chunk off, the fossil appears to be “rock all the way through.”

Still, not all scientists believe Bigfoot is a hoax. A 2012 DNA study preliminarily suggests the possibility that Bigfoot may be a product of “humans bumping uglies with animals” way back when. Or we could just build a blimp to try and find indisputable proof of Bigfoot’s existence. Whatever’s easier.

I’ll take May’s side on this one. But only because Tenacious D say so.

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