I’m not much of a travel person. Perhaps it’s an evolutionary trait passed down from generations of non-affluent living in my family, but even when money isn’t an issue, my vacations tend to gravitate more towards hubs of activity, rather than the quiet, therapeutic vastness of nature’s more beautiful natural settings. But offer me a chance to go into space, and that third level of House of the Dead 4 at Dave and Buster’s is just going to have to wait.
Unilever’s Axe, the body spray brand behind millions of teenage boys’ adamant virginities, is cooperating with Space Expedition Corporation (SXC) and XCOR for a contest that will give 22 winners the chance to take a ride on private spacecraft up into the Earth’s sub-orbit, about 64 miles above the surface, with only the pilot and a 12-foot wide cockpit window for company and entertainment. I bet he starts the meter while you’re still putting your luggage up.
To add glitz and glory to the promotion, Unilever brought the iconic 82-year-old Buzz Aldrin into the fray, reminding space fanatics how far we’ve come since his famed Apollo 11 landing, as well as the fact that we haven’t gone far enough. One the one hand, manned missions to deep space have been relatively absent since the heyday of the space race, and on the other, 22 people will each be getting a $95,000 once-in-a-lifetime trip into space, paid for by a company whose sole advertising tactic is “sex.” These are fine times we’re living in.
To enter into this push for more space popularity, just hit the above link and register for the website, while also completing an essay on why you should be the chosen one. Even if they don’t read a single essay, just adding that requirement probably knocked off about half of all potential applicants. Should you make it past the initial stage, you and other international winners will be sent to a “Global Space Camp” in Orlando in December of 2013. The camp consists of competitions involving G-force testing in a giant centrifuge, flying in a supersonic jet, and being able to handle zero gravity in a parabolic airplane flight.
I can’t tell if this would make a better reality series or a mockumentary film from Christopher Guest, though I’m leaning firmly towards the latter. Fred Willard in an astronaut helmet. I rest my case.