Animal Carcasses Or Mysterious Creatures? It’s Been A Busy Month For Cryptozoologists
While the Middle East has seen its share of monstrosities, most of them can be attributed to human beings, not to mysterious sea demons of the deep. But even the Loch Ness Monster herself must have choked on her tongue when pictures of a disgusting and mysterious creature found in the Persian Gulf started popping online up last week. And the Chupacabra probably shit his skin-hut once he saw that his distant cousin was making trouble in Belarus. And the aliens at Area 51 definitely phoned home when evidence of extraterrestrials showed up dead in South Africa. July has been positively lousy with weird looking creatures.
Of course, they’re all really just dead animals, sans conspiracy, but it’s always fun to pretend. The Iranian navy came upon the huge blackened cretin seen in the pictures above and below. While it looks like someone flushed one of Pacific Rim’s Kaiju down a really big toilet, it’s actually just a whale corpse. Giant, rotting carrion. This gives a differently Jonah or Pinocchio’s stories could have ended. One always wonders what happens to the bones of the world’s most rotund mammals, and as it happens, they look like something James Cameron ripped off while making The Abyss. Someone needs to sue that guy. (Kidding.) For scale’s sake, here’s a picture of a boat posing next to the creature.
A Belarusian farm worker recently killed a beast that had been attacking the farm’s cattle. By biting their feet. While it hasn’t been DNA tested, it looks like a hybrid of a raccoon, fox, dog, and hyena. And possibly a few other things. This is reportedly the smallest of three animals seen in the area. The most interesting part of this story is that the veterinarian is going to burn the corpse. Can’t have that just lying around underground, spawning undead zombicabras. Incidentally, this Russian-to-English website is worth the read for the awkward translations. “Raccoon dog is a predator but it also eats vegetable food.”
What’s the weirdest creature you’ve ever seen? No Nic Cage, Nick Nolte, or Nicki Minaj jokes. Lot of weird looking people with names that sound like that. This is Nick Venable, signing off.