An Adorable Animal Is Going Extinct Because It Wants Sex Too Much

The Australian northern quoll is already endangered, but now the hunt for mates in reducing the males' lifespan.

By Mark McKee | Published

There is an unfortunately long list of animals that reside on the endangered species list, a list that scientists try to shorten by bringing awareness to the dangers the animals face. According to The Byte, one of those animals landed on that list through normal means but may be accelerating their demise while trying to expedite their expansion. In the case of the Australian Northern Quoll, the males are dying out quicker than expected because they sacrifice sleep for (what else?) sex. 

According to a study published by the Royal Society Open Science Journal, the marsupials from down under spend a ridiculous amount of time in search of a lady quoll. They live about a quarter of the time their female counterparts do because they only rest about eight percent of their lives. After getting a little rest, the kitten-sized northern quoll will get up and walk six miles a day to find a mate. 

To put that plight into perspective that we mere humans can understand, that is like sleeping six hours a night, then waking up and embarking on a 24-mile journey to look for a date. Of course, it would be a lot easier for us since Uber is one tap away to get us from our abode on one side of town to the bar, club, or restaurant to woo a mate. For the Australian Northern Quoll, this is the kind of struggle that can cause them to die out faster than they otherwise would have. 

Here is the rub: the salt in the wound for the ill-fated marsupial is that after all that work and all of that dedication,t the females will often turn them down. Let’s be honest; if you walked 24 miles to show up at a date, you’d likely not look the absolute best you could; your hair would be disheveled, and you’d be sweaty, tired, and probably drinking like a fish. The Australian Northern Quoll will often look disheveled and not be the kind of mate that their female targets usually go for. 

Joshua Gaschk, the leader of the study, says that while they stress that habitat destruction and invasive species are the main reason the animals are on the endangered species list, their lifestyle creates other problems for the critters. Due to their extensive amount of travel, the Australian Northern Quoll become easy prey due to their fatigue; they are unable to avoid being hit by vehicles while crossing the road. And finally, those animals may often just drop dead from exhaustion before they even find an opportunity to procreate. 

While we all feel the need to go above and beyond for the sake of landing a date sometimes, the Australian Northern Quoll takes their dedication to the extreme. But in the case of these critters down under, they may also need to be stopped before they send their species into extinction. While we commend their focus on wooing their future significant others, we would suggest opting to go for an Uber.