Super Smash Bros Tournament Leaves Attendees Puking With Horrible Sickness

Attendees at Collision 2023 contracted norovirus by unknown means.

By Jason Collins | Updated

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We haven’t heard anything pretty about Super Smash Bros tournaments for a while now since Nintendo rains hard on anyone coming near its IP in any way. Today’s discussion, however, has very little to do with Nintendo and its reign of legal terror against tournaments, and plenty to do with the gaming community’s inner beauty, as Super Smash Bros attendees may have spread a highly contagious norovirus, prompting many to have a technicolor yawn most likely followed by a prayer to the porcelain god.

According to Kotaku, a number of Melee and Ultimate players have reported having stomach issues akin to food poisoning after attending Collision 2023, a Super Smash Bros. Melee and Ultimate tournament that took place last weekend. Several attendees tweeted about stomach issues they had caught after the event ended, with many attributing the issues to food poisoning caused by the chicken sandwich sold at the tournament. Others, however, have suggested that the event might’ve been ground zero for the spread of norovirus infection.

Norovirus is a highly contagious virus that causes gastroenteritis, an inflammation of the stomach and intestines. In most cases, it isn’t particularly dangerous, and most adults who contract it usually recover within a few days with no long-term effects—the exceptions in some instances might be young children, older adults, and people with a weakened immune system. Considering that it’s a very contagious virus, Super Smash Bros tournaments, which are usually very crowded, are a perfect opportunity for the virus to spread.

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In fact, the disease has become very common, as it spreads easily and quickly. The main causes include coming into contact with an infected person, as well as contaminated food and water, which is why most players bring their own controllers to these events. However, even being in someone’s close proximity severely increases the chance of contracting the norovirus, making these events favorable conditions for the disease to spread. Apparently, Papa Nurgle most definitely approves of these events.

In defense of the Super Smash Bros tournament, Collision had health and safety guidelines and implementations in place in an attempt to keep the attendees as safe as possible. All participants had to wear masks and provide vaccination or a timestamped negative covid test. However, unlike COVID-19, norovirus isn’t airborne but a contact-transmitted disease, so no amount of anti-covid measures could stop the virus from proliferating. Luckily, it only lasts one to three days, so anyone affected should recover quickly.

This is quite unusual news; we’ve gotten accustomed to hearing /reading news about tournaments being canceled or users being legally threatened by Nintendo for a myriad of reasons, some of which aren’t quite reasonable at times. However, health issues at these events, while not unprecedented, aren’t actually that common since most people adhere to health and hygiene guidelines.

We’re saying it again, “most people,” and if Nintendo is ever to issue another lawsuit, it should be against attendees who decided to skip a shower (or seven) before coming to events such as Super Smash Bros. Could this be the reason why Nintendo decided to skip most gaming conventions, including the upcoming E3?