What If Michael Haneke Was Directing Star Wars Episode VII?

By Nick Venable | Published

Director Michael Haneke has never shied away from stories that depict aspects of pain and agony, whether in the satirized random violence of Funny Games, the masochism of The Piano Teacher, or the uncomfortably meta murder of Benny’s Video. His last film, Amour, was a critical darling and used heartbreak as its source of pain, winning all kinds of awards in the process. For these reasons and more, Haneke is one of the most respected filmmakers out there, and is completely removed from all conversations involving Star Wars: Episode VII. Well, all conversations except the one that led to this spoof.

During the 38th Annual César Awards — the French equivalent to the Oscars — this video popped up, applying Haneke’s understated, depressing style to the next Star Wars sequel. By using elderly characters, it certainly references Amour more than any of his other films, seeing that film isn’t necessary to be amused by this strange homage, though knowing the Star Wars universe, even just the few major familial details, is a plus. Check out the aging Luke and Leia caring for their beyond ancient father in Star Wars: The Obscure Side of the Force.

Leia’s awkward curtsy upon being re-introduced to father Vader is worth the watch alone. Now I’d like to watch someone spoof Haneke’s take on the end of the Ewok civilization. Hell, it could be Tommy Wiseau’s take on Ewok extinction and it would be worth it. Let’s walk away from this thankful that no bidets were harmed in the making of this video.

This is the way.

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