Marvel Star Wants To Fight Chris Hemsworth’s Thor With Drugs

Brett Goldstein, the Marvel Cinematic Universe's Hercules, joked on a podcast he'd use drugs in a fight with Thor.

By Phillip Moyer | Published

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Thor is one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most powerful heroes, but that doesn’t make him invincible. Brett Goldstein, who briefly played Hercules in an after-credits scene of Thor: Love and Thunder, thinks he knows the secret of how to defeat the Norse god. During an interview with journalist and podcast host Josh Horowitz, Goldstein revealed his secret weapon: heroin.

“I just think stand-up’s like heroin, like I need to do it to feel normal, sadly… You gotta give yourself one treat,” Goldstein mused. “Does Chris Hemsworth have heroin? No, that’s how I beat him. Heroin. There you go. You can cut the C words. Stick the heroin in there.”

This answer came after Horowitz asked Brett Goldstein whether he could actually take on Thor actor Chris Hemsworth. Goldstein began by considering Hemsworth’s massive muscles, unbelievable charisma, and natural ability to look like a god. Goldstein did mention that he does have more body hair than Chris Hemsworth, and could possibly freak Hemsworth out by swearing more than him.

It wasn’t until they changed the subject, and talked about how Brett Goldstein does standup most nights, that he hit upon his drug-centric plan to defeat Thor. 

The details of this plan are… sketchy, to say the least. Would Brett Goldstein even be able to penetrate Thor’s skin with a hypodermic needle? Would a Norse god even suffer from withdrawal symptoms? Does heroin even have an effect on Asgardian biology?

Brett Goldstein, who probably doesn’t actually do heroin, is a regular standup comedian. He headlined a series of live stand-up shows for years before his brief role in the latest Thor film. His most recent show, Brett Goldstein: What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me, was performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2018. He also hosts the weekly podcast Films to Be Buried With.

Brett Goldstein in Ted Lasso

Brett Goldstien’s appearance in Thor: Love and Thunder came while he was starring in his most-popular role, the sports comedy-drama Ted Lasso. In it, Goldstein plays an American college football coach who is chosen to coach a British soccer team.

According to Brett Goldstein, he received a text out of nowhere about a possible appearance in Thor: Love and Thunder. They pitched the appearance to him, and apparently already had artwork featuring him as Hercules. Goldstein reportedly had just two weeks to prepare for the role, which consisted of just two lines but required him to appear shirtless while performing as Greek Mythology’s most famous hero. 

Brett Goldstein told Horowitz that he can’t reveal any details about whether Hercules will show up in any future Thor films, armed with heroin or not. According to Goldstein, Marvel prevents him from revealing any secrets because they implanted a chip in his head.

With no firm information about the next Thor movie, it’s hard to say when we can expect Brett Goldstein to burst into Asgard with a syringe full of smack, aiming to bring Thor down. Instead, we’ll just have to wait to see him in season 3 of Ted Lasso or catch him in the upcoming 2024 Garfield film. It’s currently unclear whether Ted Lasso or Garfield will involve the use of heroin, but it’s worth keeping an eye on them, just in case.