Giant Freakin Robot

Books are great, Star Wars is great, and when the two come together…well, you can guess where this is going…it’s great. Usually an intersection between these two wonderful institutions manifests itself in one of many novels that expand the Star Wars universe beyond the films, TV shows, and holiday specials. However, you can also use one—or in this case, three—of these Star Wars books to make three-dimensional art. If you have destroy a book, at least you’ll have something pretty to look at.

Did you ever start a secret club when you were a kid, where you felt it necessary to come up with your own secret language, both written, spoken, and handshaken, as if anyone would bother to try to find out what you were talking about? If that applies to you, and you also happen to be a Star Wars fan, then this is the perfect form of language for you, even though it’s not very secret and sending a written message would actually be more time intensive than writing with your foot. Maybe it should just be a piece of art, as it is intended.

Now this is just getting dopey! Last week, White House officials responded to a citizen’s request to build a real, working Death Star. The online White House petition gained the required 25,000 signatures to be placed into the Obama Administration’s consideration, so, satirical or not, the White House gave it the once-over.

The White House response was appropriately cheeky, pointing out that it would be unproductive to build a space station with a weakness that could be exploited by a single starfighter. Now things have gotten even more complicated, thanks to an official statement direct from the “Galactic Empire” calling out the White House for “cowardice.”

Straight from StarWars.com, a response entitled “Planet Earth Abandons Death Star Project in Face of Superior Galactic Imperial Power” just makes the Galactic Empire look so, so petty. Is this how Emperor Palpatine gained power in a fictional universe, by bullying a smaller republic? The response goes on to say that, even if we did build a real, working Death Star, we wouldn’t know what to do with it.

‘It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,’ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. ‘Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.’

Until Disney finally gets around to officially announcing the director or Star Wars: Episode VII, pretty much every noteworthy director in town has been rumored or suggested for the gig, from proven veterans like Steven Spielberg to up-and-comers like Safety Not Guaranteed’s Colin Trevorrow. One of the more intriguing suggestions is Looper writer/director Rian Johnson. I’d love to see what Johnson could do with a Star Wars film, but Johnson himself seems more interested in playing his own sandbox, rather than George Lucas’.

Speaking to Digital Spy, Johnson admits that he’d be tempted by the offer, but for now is more interested in telling his own stories:

I don’t think I’m on those sorts of lists. On the one hand, it’s Star Wars, it would be very hard to say no to.

On the other hand, for me, I’m really enjoying just writing my own stuff, and right now that’s what I’m doing, I’m writing another original screenplay now, and we’ll figure out how to get it made.

That’s sort of what I’m in it for, is telling my own stories, and seeing if we can strike out on some new ground. So, luckily I don’t think it’s a problem that I’ll have to deal with!