Giant Freakin Robot

As you are all probably aware — assuming you’re on a social network, watch entertainment television, or follow anything Star Wars — May 4th is Star Wars Day. “May the Fourth Be With You” floods message boards and image blogs and walls and Tweets and private messages. And somebody probably actually writes it down with a pen somewhere. Don’t be a part of that bullshit.

You only celebrate the day because you don’t completely understand what the day means, says the above parody of a public service announcement, from the Star Wars YouTube page. Ahem. What’s strange about this video is, in satirizing a hate campaign against Jedis for using mind control on deadly weapons and for being traitors, they create odd parallels between current events and…never mind. America has never been haunted by anyone. (Insert your own joke.)

As if this country didn’t already have enough bad blood with Berlin, yesterday the city saw the premiere of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness. (Germany also gets the full theatrical release before us, on May 9.) But I’m not going to hold any national grudges here, because the premiere’s Q&A session with the cast and Abrams was a lot of fun to watch, and dropped an orchestral bomb on fans, albeit one we were patiently waiting for anyway.

When asked if Abrams‘ longtime musical collaborator Michael Giacchino — whose Star Trek Into Darkness score was lauded for a minute or so — Abrams said, with some stammering, “For Star Wars, it’s very early days to know, but I believe that going forward that John Williams will be doing that film, because apparently he was there long before I was.” A cheeky line like that would have gotten a roar at Comic-Con or even a home for the deaf, but not much going on in Berlin by way of uproarious laughter.

This news fits in with Giacchino’s earlier comments that Williams should be the one scoring Episode VII, as well as Williams’ own hopes to work on another Star Wars film.

The full Q&A is on the video posted below, and is worth the watch. The question about the score comes in right at the 7:00 minute mark. Be sure and watch the hilarious little moment that begins at 5:25, as a spectator’s question takes everyone by surprise.

Growing up may mean losing your innocence and at least some of your sense of wonder, but it does have its perks. We may not get endless summers spent running through the woods pretending we’re intrepid archaeologist/adventurers, but once you finally get a decent job, it means you’ve suddenly got cash to spend on all the crap you wanted but didn’t get when you were little. Case in point: these stunning custom-designed lightsaber props created by artist Roland Palotai.

These bad boys will take your cosplay to the next level, or at least look badass in a display case. They probably won’t be an impulse buy, however, because they aren’t cheap. If you’ve got the decent job but already have a spouse and/or kids, you may have missed the window of opportunity for spending extravagantly on frivolous trinkets. Meet me at the bar and we’ll raise a toast to our lost childhoods. No, just kidding, I get paid to write about lightsabers for a living, I’m doing fine. But let’s talk about you.

You know how the old saying goes: if you’re not with us, you’re against us. That might seem like an oversimplification in the real world, but things in the Star Wars universe are a lot more black and white. Are you supporting the brave underdogs of the Rebellion? Or are you backing the Empire, since they keep the hovertrains running on time and plus you’ve always thought you’d look sexy in one of those Stormtrooper uniforms.

These Star Wars propaganda posters were created by an artist going by the handle — at least on Tumblr — of “Patty McPancakes.” And who doesn’t love a good stack of pancakes? But never before have my pancakes also provided me with amusing, geek-friendly artwork worthy of slapping up on my wall.