Giant Freakin Robot

I’m not comparing lens flare jokes to bullying on a grand level or anything here, because morals don’t come into this. From a purely creative standpoint, bullies are aggravating because the things they use to antagonize their victims are repetitive, trite, and stick to the surface. You want to be a more impressive douchebag? Get some better material. The same goes for people who batter J.J. Abrams for his rampant use of lens flares. Most of whom take their residence here on the Internet, usually in comment sections. I seriously doubt anybody is having vocal conversations with other people about this artistic choice more than they are about the subject matter. But that’s just my take on it. Simon Pegg had a lot more to say.

Star Trek Into Darkness finally opened here last night, and it’s already got some positive reviews out there. People will be talking about the film for quite some time because it’s full of action sequences and Benedict Cumberbatch. There are more interesting things to pick apart than lens flares. But for those still hung up on them, Pegg has a few choice words, given in an interview with Collider. Check out the entire quote below, because it’s too good to edit. He’s answering the question, “Who made the first joke about lens flares?”

Probably some film student who wanted to demonstrate his or her knowledge of film terminology, thus elevating themselves to an assumed level of critical superiority, which gave them the kind of smug, knowing smile that indicates a festering sour grape, fizzing in the pit of their own ambition. It’s become a sort of communal stick to have a crack at JJ with, mostly by people who didn’t know what the fuck lens flare was, until someone started sneering the term all over their blog. It demonstrates JJ’s supreme talent as a film maker that the main means of knocking him is to magnify a throw away artistic choice, into some sort of hilarious failing. Lens flare is essentially an anomaly caused by light hitting the lens and creating refracted shapes. Because it draws attention to the fact that we are looking at a filmed event, it actually creates a subliminal sense of documentary realism and makes the moment more vital and immediate. In the same way Spielberg spattered his shots with bloody seawater in Saving Private Ryan, JJ suggests that the moment we are in is so real and alive, there just isn’t time to frame out all the light and activity. The irony is by acknowledging the film’s artifice, you are enhancing the reality of the moment. It’s clever and I love it. On set we call it ‘best in show’ and our amazing director of photography, Dan Mindel has a special technique to achieve it. To the detractors, I offer a polite fuck you and suggest you find a new stick to beat us with, if being a huge, boring neggyballs is necessary for your personal happiness.

Of course, you may not agree with either Pegg or my views, and I’m not calling anyone a huge, boring neggyballs. Let’s just go back to bashing everything but the children in Abrams’ Super 8, can we?

It’s finally here. We’ve been writing about Star Trek Into Darkness for so long at this point that I’m surprised we aren’t already in the middle of the 23rd century. While much of the debate has centered around Benedict Cumberbatch’s role, as someone who neither loved nor hated Abrams’ first Trek outing, I’ve been more interested in seeing if the director and his writers could build on the reboot’s potential while avoiding the problems that plagued that deeply flawed film. The good news: they learned the lessons they needed to learn, and Star Trek Into Darkness is a thrill ride that improves upon its 2009 predecessor in every way.

First a bit of housekeeping. I’m going to do my best to leave as many of the movie’s secrets unspoiled as possible, but there is one crucial issue — Cumberbatch’s role — that pretty much can’t be discussed without spoilers. As such, I’m dividing this review into two sections. Up top I’ll be more general, and then below the bold spoiler warning I’ll dig into specifics. Let’s have at it.

If there was one area where Abrams’ Trek excelled, it was the action. That hasn’t changed here. Into Darkess is packed with breathtaking set pieces that are executed beautifully. There’s still something thrilling about seeing the Trek universe realized with a modern blockbuster budget. Whether you’re a Trek fan or not, Into Darkness works very well as a science fiction adventure flick, and it’s a damn good time, even if that’s all you’re looking for.

With the release of Star Trek Into Darkness, J.J. Abrams is making the rounds doing press interviews and appearances. Earlier this week, Abrams appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and now you can listen to the geek icon’s interview with Howard Stern.

J.J. Abrams appeared on the Sirius XM radio show and talked about Star Trek Into Darkness, Star Wars: Episode VII, and a few other geek properties. The 35-minute interview also features late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, who called J.J. Abrams a very busy man. Abrams and his Bad Robot production company are currently working on multiple TV series, including Revolution, Believe, and Almost Human. Where does this guy find the time?

It’s been clear for a long time that, of all the people in the world who have a low tolerance for fools, Star Trek‘s Klingons are right up there. Wait, they aren’t even “people in the world.” Now I’m the one that sounds like a fool! A d’k tahg to the throat for me then.

For those looking to get on a Klingon’s good side, however, take notice of the new Bing translator, which will take your favorite English phrases and tell you how a badass alien warrior might say it. For instance, if Nathan Hale were actually an alien in disguise, he might have said something like, “‘e’ vIghaj ‘ach wa’ yIn luj Sep neH pay.” But Klingons probably don’t do things like regret or lose lives for their country, so it’s possibly they would have thought Hale to be a “puj qech loD.”

Sure, there are other Klingon translators out there, considering how large the subset of fanboy speakers has grown, but this one is official, and you can even translate all those Norwegian phrases about Kirk’s hair that you’ve been saving up over the years.