The Best And Worst Time Travelers To Time Travel With (Other Than The Doctor)
Hell Yes: Bill and Ted
Blasting through the circuits of time in a janky phone booth might be cramped, and the pilots may not know exactly where they’re going or how they’re going to get there, but travelling with Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted “Theodore” Logan is always going to be a good time. Even when they’re about to be executed by “Royal Ugly Dudes” in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure or playing Battleship with Death himself in the Bogus Journey — one of the greatest sequels in all of sequel-dom — there are laughs and adventures to be had. And not only will you get to hang out with notable figures from history, like Socrates, Billy the Kid, and “Bob” Ghengis Khan (Napoleon is a total dick, despite his love of waterslides), you’ll even get to see that awesome tranquil future, and there will never be a shortage of sweet rocking jams.
Hell No: Keanu Reeves in The Lake House
As excellent as it would be to travel through time with the Bill & Ted Keanu Reeves, invert that and you have Keanu Reeves in the 2006 romantic drama The Lake House. Instead of fun, outrageous Keanu, you get sad, mopey bastard Keanu sitting around on his ass waiting to get letters from Sandra Bullock. To be honest, you won’t even really get to travel through time, they just have a goddamned magic mailbox that sends letters back and forth through time. While that could definitely prove useful, who the hell wants to do that? It’s not even fun Sandra Bullock from The Heat, or space Sandra Bullock from Gravity; this is bland, Miss Congeniality, generic rom-com Sandra Bullock. Now, if Keanu tried to cram himself into the mailbox in an attempt to get to his lover from the future, that’s something we could get behind.