Earlier this week we finally got to see the first trailer for the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. Unsurprisingly, it’s been pretty divisive, with some praising the action on display and others criticizing the tweaks to the Turtles’ origins and appearance. Okay, it’s less “criticizing” and more “saying bad words followed or preceded by the name of Michael Bay.” And hey, I can understand Turtles fans who aren’t eager to give Bay the benefit of the doubt after the whole Transformers thing. But now that we’ve all had a couple of days to calm down, we decided to dig into the trailer, pull out a mess of screen captures, and see what secrets
of the ooze it might hold. And one of the biggest things is this guy, Leonardo, looking rather badass as he strikes a pose in front of April O’Neil (Megan Fox). I mean, I’m not sure how to feel about the Venetian blinds he’s sporting on his chest, but who am I to judge contemporary ninja fashions?
One thing everybody’s been chattering about is that damn, the Turtles seem awfully big compared to their earlier incarnations. I mean, there’s nothing really wrong with that, it’s not like there’s some standard size chart for mutated turtles. And I’m sure the costume designs might irritate some long-time fans but —
Oh holy shit! Wow, I was not prepared for that closeup. I mean, he’s just kind of weird looking, isn’t he? I’m not sure what they were going for, but I think it’s the nostrils that are tripping me up. I realize turtles have nostrils, so there’s no reason why mutant ninja turtles wouldn’t have nostrils, but still. Maybe it’ll grow on me.
SWEET JESUS KILL IT, KILL IT NOW!
Phew. Those nostrils are really like the nipples on the Batsuit. That decision may haunt them.
Anyway, Leonardo and Michelangelo — played by Pete Ploszek and Noel Fisher, respectively — are the two Turtles who we get a really good look at this go-round, but there are brief glimpses of Donatello (Jeremy Howard) and Raphael (Alan Ritchson). You can see Don during this quick-cut fight sequence and then again during a big set piece where the Turtles are sliding down a snowy slope.
Raph is easy to miss, but he’s also in the snowy action sequence, seen cartwheeling into a military vehicle of some sort.
And just for the record, Leo’s on hand too.
The human characters get their moments to shine as well. There’s Fox as April, of course…
And Arrested Development‘s Will Arnett, who plays Vernon Fenwick, the Channel 6 cameraman who tags along with April on occasion…
And veteran bad guy William Fichtner, who is playing, well, take a guess…
You can check out the rest of the shots in the gallery below. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles oozes its way into theaters on August 8.