Picard’s Internet Search History Shows A Different Side Of The Starship Captain
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We spend a lot of time with our favorite fictional characters, especially those on TV, and especially those who are on shows that are around for a good long run. After a while, we get to know them like family. Much like with our real-life friends, we can predict how they’ll react in certain situations, what they’ll do when confronted by specific external stimuli, and just generally how they’ll behave. Still, as well as we think we know them, there’s always a desire to get to know them that much better—among the more obsessive fans, you can witness all sorts of arguments about who is more familiar with what character. In this spirit, a new bit of Internet fun seeks to provide us with a glimpse behind the inner working of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Jean-Luc Picard.
Played, of course, by the venerable Shakespearean actor Patrick Stewart, the captain of the Enterprise is known as a serious, brooding individual, but still compassionate and steadfastly devoted to his crew, the truth, and doing the right thing. At least that’s his public persona. A new Twitter account shows fans the Star Fleet officer’s Google history, and it provides an interesting glimpse behind the curtain.
do starships need transporter chiefs
— Picard Googling (@PicardGoogling) March 26, 2014
While Picard always has his crewmember’s backs, and seems generally affectionate towards them, you have to wonder, does he feel this way about everyone? Is there no one that he would like to replace? One that he secretly thinks he might be able to do without? Perhaps this search about the necessity of transporter chiefs on a starship provides a clue to how he feels about Miles O’Brien (Colm Meaney). And this isn’t the only inquiry pertaining to the Chief, far from it.
can androids have babies
— Picard Googling (@PicardGoogling) March 27, 2014
While Picard is not as notorious a lothario as, say, Captain James Tiberius Kirk (William Shatner), he’s been known to get around from time to time. Space ladies love the bald spot. Still, maybe he had one too many one night at Ten Forward and hooked up with someone he shouldn’t have, and maybe he has some concerns.
wesley crusher annoying as hell
— Picard Googling (@PicardGoogling) April 15, 2014
Few characters are as divisive to the Star Trek fan base as Wil Wheaton’s Wesley Crusher. Or maybe not, maybe everyone hates him. But apparently not all of his crewmates are totally in love with the kid, not even his captain, mentor, and pseudo-father figure.
prime directive loopholes
— Picard Googling (@PicardGoogling) April 16, 2014
Not all of Picard’s internet searches are about the crew. Some actually seem to be about finding better ways to accomplish his missions, or like this one, finding ways to get around Starfleet’s rules so he can do whatever he wants.
lionfish recipes
— Picard Googling (@PicardGoogling) April 12, 2014
I guess sometimes Picard gets really, really hungry? Makes you wonder how many different lionfish he’s had in that tank.
This is all, as I’m sure you noticed, a joke, but a pretty damn amusing one. These are just a couple of examples, but it is definitely worth a few minutes of your time to scroll through these. And if you like what you see, there’s also a Worf Googling account, where all of his tweets seem to have a certain theme…
ways to kill a hirogen
— Worf Googling (@WorfGoogling) April 1, 2014
ways to kill a bolian
— Worf Googling (@WorfGoogling) March 31, 2014
ways to kill a changeling
— Worf Googling (@WorfGoogling) March 30, 2014
Though it’s not like Worf doesn’t have a heart…
best gifts for betazoid female
— Worf Googling (@WorfGoogling) March 28, 2014
He just knows what he’s good at…
ways to kill a borg
— Worf Googling (@WorfGoogling) March 28, 2014
Oh, Internet, will you never cease coming up with ways for us to squander our time?
