Giant Eyeball Washes Up In Florida, Scientists Can’t Rule Out That It Belongs To A Lovecraftian Horror
As any sensible person knows, the sea is a giant, unholy breeding ground for nightmares no sane god would allow to exist. Sure, it’s all very cute to swim with the adorable dolphins or dive in the clear waters of the Caribbean, but that’s just to lull you into a false sense of security. One second you’re pleasantly snorkeling above a coral reef, then next they’re finding your bloody face mask and part of your foot washed up on the beach. Think I’m overreacting? Then consider this: an eyeball the size of a softball that washed up on a Florida beach yesterday.
Do you get the sense that, even unattached to its body of origin, it’s still watching you? Peering deeply into your soul, the better to flay you open with your darkest fears? This little slice of wrong was stumbled upon by a dude named Gino Covacci while he was walking the beach. He told the Sun Sentinel that “It was very, very fresh. It was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag.” The paper doesn’t report whether Covacci had begun looking more and more amphibian during the course of the interview.
The giant eye was packed on ice and sent to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Institute in St. Petersburg for analysis. Scientists speculate the eye could belong to a giant squid or a swordfish. I think we all know what’s going on here, though, and I, for one, welcome our new accursed overlord. “Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftagn!” and all that. If you need me, I’ll be in my apocalypse bunker.