6

FOR-NI-CATE: A Doctor Who Porn Parody Is Coming

fb share tweet share

RoseWell, we already covered a sweet, romantic Doctor Who story with that lovely fan proposal from earlier today. So now let’s yank the wheel in the opposite direction, into sweaty, naked, wibbly-wobbly Doctor Who lust. I’m talking about the three-way intersection between pop culture, commerce, and good old-fashioned smut. Somebody find the keys to the HARDIS: there’s a Doctor Who porn parody positioning itself for impending release.

Porn parody website WoodRocket.com (NSFW, naturally) revealed the big news today via Twitter, and we won’t have to spend much time in antici…pation. It’s called Doctor Whore, and it’ll be unfixing your points in time this May. I have to say, though, the title leaves me a little unsatisfied, especially in a world where both Dicktor Who and Cocktor Who were options. But look, they’ve got a NSFW logo!

DoctorWhoreNSFW

“With great detail paid to costumes, script, special effects, sets, casting, and sex,” reads the press release, “even the Daleks would approve.” A brief perusal of WoodRocket’s website reveals they’re the dirty minds behind such venerable productions as Game of Bones, The Knobbit, SpongeKnob SquareNuts, and Coco Gets Her Butthole Bleached. I’m assuming that last one is a parody of the critically acclaimed 2009 film Coco Before Chanel.

Director Lee Roy Myers had this to say: “We love Doctor Who and want to pay homage to this brilliant series. And add space vaginas.” As you do.

Honestly, it all makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Doctor Who is already about a guy who flies around the universe with a rotating coterie of attractive “companions” a mere fraction of his age, all inside a wooden throbbing thing that’s “bigger on the inside” and which has a control panel made up of confusing buttons and an enormous thrusting bit. And we haven’t even gotten to the “sonic screwdrivers” yet.

Sadly, there are no plot details for Doctor Whore available at this point, so feel free to speculate wildly, but just remember to lock the door so you’re not interrupted. Will we only get one XXX version of the Doctor or many? Will there be a version of River Song (River Dong?) who is living out her sexual liasons with the Doctor in reverse? Maybe the Doctor will regenerate everytime he, err, finishes? One big advantage: some of the show’s classic villains won’t require any redesign work at all to appear in the porn version.

zygons_big

All I know is, if they don’t work Captain Jack into this somehow, that’s a missed opportunity. Hell, John Barrowman might be game himself, assuming any of the other actors could keep up with him. (Insert “Face of Ohhhhhhh” joke here.) Plus if you wanted a Torchwood porn spinoff you wouldn’t even have to change the title!

Casting for Doctor Whore begins this week. So, you know, time to update those resumes.

Comments

  1. sounder says:

    The Doctor is ribbed for your pleasure.

  2. Brynn Harris says:

    What about doctor screw??

  3. Laurent Cauchon says:

    Deplorable.

  4. Nerd Boy says:

    Don’t forget ‘Abducted by the Daleks’. Classic Who-Porn!

  5. Lostwolf says:

    Yeah, personally “Doctor Whore,” is weak and compared to what could have been. “Cocktor Who,” would’ve worked a whole lot better. “Daleks,” could be the, “Dong-licks,” “The Silence could be turned to either The Screamers or The Squirters,” lol I could go all night on thinking up easily doable porn names/titles for characters.

  6. David Tennant says:

    Do I get a ‘sonic dildo’?