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Lucy: The Discussion Continues

Brent and Nick break down Luc Besson’s latest.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Delivers A Quartet Of Motion Posters

We’re less than a month away from Jonathan Liebesman’s (Wrath of the Titans) reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it has already become one of the most divisive movies of the year. Drastic changes to the hero’s appearance and origin story have many fans seething, and from what we’ve seen of the film thus far, it doesn’t exactly inspire a lot of confidence or feelings that this is going to be totally awesome. In an attempt to win over public support, Platinum Dunes (I hope to never type those words again) has released a collection of new motion posters that probably won’t change anyone’s mind.

Studios seem to think that people like motion posters, because they’re everywhere—yesterday saw the release of one for The Expendables 3—and I’m not entirely sure what makes these different from a standard movie clip, except maybe the annoying shape that makes it hard to tell what’s going on. But whatever, they’re don’t appear to be going anywhere and are something we have to get used to.

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RiffTrax Live Vs. Sharknado: A Night Of A Million Laughs

sharknadoThe cult series Mystery Science Theater 3000 built its massive fanbase by reaching back into history and pulling out some of cinema’s most offbeat B-movies. With RiffTrax, former MST3K stars Michael Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy need not look back any farther than last year for the source material behind one of their most inspired riff sessions to date: Syfy and The Asylum’s Sharknado. Cue the air raid sirens!

This was my first time partaking in a RiffTrax live simulcast, for which the comedic trio performed their commentary in front of a Minnesota audience while fans around the country watched in select theaters. For me, it served as a completely different experience from the average trip to the movies, and was more akin to watching an actual live performance in person. From the opening RiffTrax “trivia cards” through the end credits, the energy was palpable and the surrounding laughter saw rapid ebbs and flows, never falling out completely. Babysitting issues forced me to take the trip without my wife, but I still had a blast in the packed room, howling with everyone else.

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Hey Emmys, F#@$ You For Snubbing Orphan Black And Tatiana Maslany Again

There are Orphan Black spoilers about in the story below, though the Emmys spoiled everything anyway by being so negligent.

orphan blackFor the second year in a row, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has released a list of nominations that have fallen glaringly short in recognizing the quality and accessibility of TV’s most exciting sleeper hit, Orphan Black, and the hardest-working actress on TV, Tatiana Maslany. It was bad enough last year, as the series’ freshman season was a whirlwind of dark humor, conspiracies, and hairpin twists, all expertly anchored by Maslany’s handful of varied performances as the show’s central gang of clones. Somebody get a cop more competent than Art on this case, because this is just criminal.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Featurette Examines The Badass That Is Gamora

On Monday, after you’ve all had the full weekend to go see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes a couple of times, can we just collectively agree to all get in a time machine (I envision a really big DeLorean) and make it August 1? We’re moderately interested to see movies like Lucy and The Purge: Anarchy, but what we really want is to finally see Guardians of the Galaxy, the whole summer has been building to that. I think that is the best move for all of us. The more that comes out, and Marvel has unleashed a massive torrent of promotion for the adaptation of one of their lesser-known titles, the more incredible this movie looks. Today’s installment brings gets you up close and personal with Zoe Saldana’s badass assassin Gamora.

I’m not a woman. That much about me should be readily apparent. But if you take all of my female friends collectively, one of their least favorite things is when random strange dudes tell them, “You’re pretty, you should smile more,” or something along those lines. (Weirdly enough, I don’t smile often, but no one says that to me, maybe it’s because I look like I might stab you.) If you know what I’m talking about, you can’t help but cringe as this featurette begins and Star-Lord (Chris Pratt) tells Gamora that “You’re a good looking girl, you should try to be more nice to people.” While many of the women I know are total badasses in their own right, and honestly might cut you, none of them are renowned intergalactic assassins. So when the next shot is Gamora burying her boot in Star-Lord’s breadbasket, you’re not terribly surprised.

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Holy Ellen Ripley! Alien: Isolation Reunites The Film’s Original Cast For Bonus Missions

alien: isolationWhile I’m sick of all these anniversary celebrations popping up for even film ever released, the 35th anniversary of Ridley Scott’s seminal classic Alien has made 2014 quite an exciting year. I seriously thought the recent glut of toy announcements was going to end up being the niftiest way to honor the sci-fi classic, but I was wrong. Sega and The Creative Assembly have gone the whole nine completely unpredictable yards by bringing the original cast back together again to reprise their roles for pre-order DLC for the upcoming video game Alien: Isolation.

If there were any lingering doubts that this game wasn’t going to be superior to the disastrous Aliens: Colonial Marines in every single way, this news just blew them out of the escape hatch.

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Steven Spielberg Murders A Dinosaur, The Internet Erupts In Outrage

Steven SpielbergAs a general rule, I consider sport hunters to be about the biggest assholes in world. There’s more of a grey area (sort of) when it comes to hunting for food, but few things piss me off like those dicks who hunt exotic animals for trophies and post pictures of themselves holding the corpses. These kinds of images often create a public backlash, like with that cheerleader from Texas Tech, and there was another one recently, kind of. An image of beloved filmmaker Steven Spielberg, made the rounds on the Internet and caused quite a stir, and when you look at it, you will most likely hang your head and weep for the future of the human race. Or laugh really hard.