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La Chupacabra Spotted In Oklahoma, Still Doesn’t Exist

Chupacabra

Yeah, I know it’s bullshit for me to even be covering this, given that this site deals with strictly hard facts, such as who J.J. Abrams’ third-grade teacher thinks Benedict Cumberbatch is going to be in the Star Trek sequel. But if this nasty-looking bastard turns out to be the real thing, I want everyone to remember me forever for giving you the first warning.

Deer Creek, Oklahoma is the latest home to the goat-eating, God-destroying cryptozoological creature that is the Chupacabra. Local outdoorsman and all-around wrong person Craig Martin took three photos of a mangy-looking starving animal having lunch, which just happened to be an animal carcass. But instead of assuming it was a mangy-looking starving animal, Martin dropped a completely non-mythical info bomb on Oklahoma City affiliate KFOR: it’s a Chupacabra.

“That’s immediately what we thought and it looks exactly the same,” Martin said. “There’s not much difference at all.” No different from an animal that never existed before. I don’t even know how the double negatives work out on that one.

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Scientists Use 3-D Printing To Create A Replacement Ear

Ear

3-D printers, right? We talk about them fairly often on this site, because even though it isn’t the instant fix that science fiction devices all seem to share, it’s something that sci-fi never quite prepared us for. Sure, the Jetsons probably had cooler shit, but they didn’t use it to do everything. Stories of new advancements come along on a regular basis, and the amount of things being printed says nothing of the vast number of designs that are then put into play for each item. Which just makes me wonder about the things being printed that nobody knows about…

Anyway, this story involves Cornell University scientists printing an ear. No, nothing about a boutonnière, I said “printed an ear!” AN EAR! It isn’t a human ear just yet, though, but the undeniable success with a cow’s cartilage was the last step before climbing the up experimental food chain. For a study in PLOS One, co-authors Lawrence Bonassar, Alyssa Reiffel, and Jason Spector, with the help of other researchers, presented their experiment and findings, which should hopefully help children born with malformed ears, or anyone who has lost it due to disease or an accident. I knew I shouldn’t have left the iron right next to my cell phone!

But seriously, this is pretty awesome stuff. Because cartilage doesn’t require all the blood vessels that the body’s organs do, this will probably be the first major medical advancement to go widespread for the still young concept of what the researchers refer to as “high-fidelity tissue engineering.” Well, one of them anyway. It works the same as most other non-ear printing processes. A 3-D camera is used to get the ear’s precise measurements — in this case, one of Bonnassar’s five-year-old twin daughters was used as a model — and a soft polymer mold was printed out and injected with a collagen rich in cartilage-producing cow cells.

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Megan Fox And Michael Bay Re-Team For Ninja Turtles Remake

Fox

The Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake has seen a lot of controversy over the last eight months, ever since the official title changed to the simplified Ninja Turtles. The title has recently changed back to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and now it looks like a familiar face might turn up in the remake.

Per a posting on Michael Bay’s official website, it seems actress Megan Fox will return to Michael Bay’s menagerie of actors. Michael Bay simply posted the following: “TMNT: we are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!” That begs the question, who would she play in the new Turtles film?

The obvious choice would be April O’Neil, the gorgeous TV news reporter who befriends the turtles. This wouldn’t be so problematic. She would only have to be a damsel in distress, and Fox had plenty of practice at that during the first two Transformers movies. The only problem is that she doesn’t really look like April O’Neil in the comics, cartoon series, or earlier movies. Maybe Megan Fox would play a villain like Demoness of Yomi, or perhaps Kala, the female Neutrino from Dimension X.

If Megan Fox does join the cast of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake, this would be her first Michael Bay film since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Bay and Megan Fox had a falling out after Fox called Bay a “Nazi” during an interview in 2009. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley replaced Megan Fox as Sam Witwicky’s love interest in Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will hit theaters everywhere (with or without Megan Fox) on May 16, 2014.

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The Walking Ostrich Robot: Russia’s Gift To The World

Not every robot in the world needs to be sleek, shiny, and full of gun turrets in order to be badass. Sometimes the goofiest-looking bots are the most impressive, due to the ideas and craftsmanship involved. And, of course, goofy robots have far less of a chance of destroying humanity, so it’s pretty easy to hop on their bandwagon.

Nothing is hopping in the video below, but there is some walking involved. Four Russian robo-thusiasts who call themselves Konstantin Ivanov created a walking ostrich robot using only $1,500 worth of wood, electronics, and ingenuity. Presumably vodka was also in the mix, guiding their decision to model the robot after an ostrich, instead of one of nature’s more vicious birds, like the peacock or titmouse. I make fun, but this huge chunk of mobility is quite a sight, and I’d be honored to own one as a pet.

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Learn To Be A Jedi (or Sith) With Lightsaber Lessons

Have you ever wanted to be a Jedi Master? Well, not all of us can tap into the power of the Force, but we can at least learn how to handle a lightsaber. A group of San Francisco Star Wars fans have started a combat and choreography class for wannabe Jedi Knights.

According to Yahoo!, the class instructor is self-proclaimed Jedi Master Alain Bloch, who has a background in martial arts and stage combat. He leads the class full of Padawan learners while dressed like Luke Skywalker, and has the Star Wars theme playing in the background. “Always be mindful of the presence!” he says as he teaches Jedi hopefuls how to use a lightsaber properly.

Duel

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Badass Fan-Made Wrath Of Khan Trailer

Considering how steadfast some fans are in their belief that Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Khan Noonien Singh in J.J. Abrams’ upcoming sequel, Star Trek Into Darkness, it’s no wonder that Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is at the forefront of many minds. But even with all of the speculation about Khan’s potential return, the focus is always on Into Darkness.

While no one is going to claim that people are ignoring Wrath of Khan, it’s easy to forget for a moment how completely amazing that movie is. Just in case you need to be reminded of this fact, here is a fan-made trailer that will compel you put down whatever you’re doing and throw on the second Star Trek movie.