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Time to Watch All Of Looper’s Errors In Three Minutes

While I won’t spoil things just to be a jerk about it, be advised you should watch the film before reading the following.

You don’t have to be a movie Nazi to be able to pick apart the errors that are doubtlessly embedded in almost every time travel movie out there, but you do have to be paying attention. And isn’t that what movies are all about? Just paying attention. Wait, fuck that. Movies are generally supposed to make sense while they’re doing their storytelling, but we all know sci-fi takes its fair share of liberties. Well, now that the good-eyed good guys at the CinemaSins are on the job, no movie is safe. Not even a movie that could theoretically come back in time and stop CinemaSins from even putting this video together.

Yes, Rian Johnson’s sci-fi time-crime-traveling thriller Looper is the latest to carry the scars of CinemaSins’ plot-dissecting talons, and boy did they pick some good ones. From easy marks such as the makeup and Bruce Willis’ wig for one scene, to diner posters advertising “Soy Steak,” these 43 entries seem shortsighted when put up against the larger numbers of Avengers and Dark Knight Rises. But that could be a reflection of time travel being more inherently realistic than Mark Ruffalo getting angry. Stay tuned all the way to the end of the video for a nice Pulp Fiction reference.

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David Goyer Producing Dystopian Virtual Reality Thriller Somacell

David S. Goyer has managed to become one of the top power player when it comes to geek-friendly Hollywood properties. After making a name for himself on Dark City and the Blade movies, he worked on Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, and is continuing that trend with story credits on Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel and the upcoming Godzilla reboot. Of course, any resume that includes Jumper and both Ghost Rider movies is far from perfect, but his name will still ensure at least a curious glance. Now he’s lending his moniker to a new science fiction project, a dystopian thriller called Somacell.

Splintercell

No, I said SOMAcell.

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This HAL 9000 Replica Is Made From The Original Blueprints, Dave

I woke up two days ago and opened my refrigerator to get some milk for my coffee, when I saw the water droplets lined up all along the walls and on the inside of the plastic drawers. Ice had built up on the vents over the fans, and everything inside was slightly less than cool to the touch. After a few minutes of misguided troubleshooting, I realized there was no way I alone would figure out what went wrong with the refrigerator. All that was missing was for a glowing red eye from a panel on my wall to tell me, “It can only be attributed to human error.”

Thanks to the marketing and development geniuses at ThinkGeek, the HAL 9000 Life-Size Replica can be yours to purchase and curiously consider before hiding from in fear. And it isn’t a cheap knock-off like an E.T. Halloween mask, it’s the most realistic model ever made, designed from the actual blueprints for Kubrick’s 1968 masterpiece. The lens features a red LED covered in custom-ground glass that even has the Nikkor company sticker on it, just like in 2001. More importantly, it’s voice-activated, and will randomly spit out 15 of HAL’s most memorable quotes. Though if you don’t feel like actually addressing HAL himself, you can use an IR remote, but make sure you ask HAL first. If he says it’s okay, you can watch the following video from the ThinkGeek squad.

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Learn Your ABCs The Star Wars Way

Did you ever start a secret club when you were a kid, where you felt it necessary to come up with your own secret language, both written, spoken, and handshaken, as if anyone would bother to try to find out what you were talking about? If that applies to you, and you also happen to be a Star Wars fan, then this is the perfect form of language for you, even though it’s not very secret and sending a written message would actually be more time intensive than writing with your foot. Maybe it should just be a piece of art, as it is intended.

Small

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In Space, No One Can Comfortably Cry

Crying

Let us mentally enter the world of Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes to find one of Calvin’s patented cardboard sci-fi inventions, a combined version of the Transmogrifier, the Duplicator, and the Time Machine. It could potentially make Tom Hanks’ Jimmy Dugan character from A League of Their Own become one with Tom Hanks as Jim Lovell in Apollo 13, and the would-be famous lines could be spoken: “Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying in outer space!” I realize I may have wasted some of your time with that fantasy segment.

Like one of David Feldman’s Imponderables, the question of “Can you cry in space?” has been answered, as I’m sure it has in the past, only this time the answer comes from ISS astronaut and social media superstar Chris Hadfield, so you gain 10 cool points just by hearing it from him. And, of course, it’s just a little more complicated than a yes or no answer.

If an astronaut were to receive a Dear John letter from their now former lover, the eyes would definitely well up with tears, but their presence in zero gravity means they’re unable to slide down the cheeks and into that tumbler of space bourbon. Instead, the moisture just builds up and doesn’t go anywhere, forming a tear orb which eventually detaches itself and floats around you, which is a concept just begging to be put into a pop-country ballad.

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Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity Finally Has A Release Date

Alfonso Cuaron

It’s finally here! Alfonso Cuarón’s long-awaited Gravity was slated to premiere at the 65th Cannes Film Festival. It also was supposed to be released sometime in 2012. Now one of the most anticipated science fiction movies of 2013 has finally announced a release date.

According to BoxOfficeMojo.com, Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity will definitely come out in October 2013. The ambitious science fiction film stars George Clooney and Sandra Bullock as two astronauts stranded in space after their space station is heavily damaged. Clooney and Bullock will be the only actors in the movie, which is ostensiblly more cerebral and contemplative rather than action-heavy and visceral. Here’s the official synopsis:

Dr. Ryan Stone [Sandra Bullock], a brilliant medical engineer on her first shuttle mission, with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalsky [George Clooney] in command of his last flight before retiring. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalsky completely alone–tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness.

The deafening silence tells them they have lost any link to Earth…and any chance for rescue. As fear turns to panic, every gulp of air eats away at what little oxygen is left.

But the only way home may be to go further out into the terrifying expanse of space.