Giant Freakin Robot

Scientists have taken an important step in human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) research. A team at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis has found a way to eradicate HIV while leaving surrounding normal cells unscathed. It involves nanoparticles carrying a toxin found in bee venom. The researchers hope to develop this technique to create a new vaginal gel that will prevent the spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

It’s a good day for science and science fiction when Harold Ramis’ Multiplicity can finally be proven to be complete bullshit. And I’m not talking about Andie MacDowell’s complete lack of common sense as that film goes on. I’m talking about Michael Keaton’s clone-of-a-clone having the mental capacity of a child. Wait, why am I even talking about this movie? I need to ask Nick #1 if this paragraph is even relevant.

Kobe, Japan is the location of the RIKEN Center for Developmental Biology, which has housed 581 very unusual mice. They are all clones of a single mouse, created through 25 sessions of somatic cell nuclear transfer (SNCT), a commonly performed technique for this particular task. It involves inserting a nucleus containing an individual’s genetic coding into a living egg whose nucleus has been removed. Before the RIKEN team began their landmark work in 2005, the limitation of SNCT dictated that cloning mammals beyond two to six times would not end successfully.

Meet Mickey 2.0, 3.0, 4.0…

Generally, it’s kind of cute when a baby boy’s face shares similarities with that of an old man, albeit in a slightly creepy way. But it’s usually a case of bald-headed chubbiness, like an Alfred Hitchcock look-alike, and not one of the most evil men who has ever existed in a far, far away galaxy a long time ago.

When unsuspecting Illinois couple Toby and Heather Large went to get an ultrasound to mark Heather’s 20th week of pregnancy, they were shocked to find out that she was actually harboring science fiction’s equivalent to the Antichrist inside her womb. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence, but the ultrasound picture appears to bear a strong resemblance to Star Wars‘s Emperor Palpatine, and one has to assume that Toby Large’s lightsaber glows bright red. But that might just be an unrelated medical problem.

I’m not saying everything that happens in zombie fiction is true or anything, but it seems pretty clear that a lot of rash decision making will have to be made on a regular basis. Just in case it becomes clear that zombies do indeed use their olfactory powers in order to differentiate between us and them, you’ll want to have something on hand to thwart and confuse them. And what you’re wanting, Demeter Fragrance Library is selling.

For a limited time, until April 30th, you can visit Demeter Fragrances and order your very own bottle of Zombie For Him and For Her, which can “make the dead simply pass by without offending.” Get one ounce for $20, or four ounces for $40. Assuming you’re into stockpiling fragrances you’ll never have any need for beyond kitsch value, that’s a corpse-raising steal!

Demeter is no stranger to eccentric and exotic aromas, having already introduced products that smell like banana flambee, whiskey tobacco, cannabis flower, and espresso. But the concoction created for that particular zombie flavor is still rather surprising and disgusting. The male version, for which you should “think forest floor,” is made from dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss, and earth. For her, there is a lighter version of the men’s that includes a touch of dregs scraped from a wine barrel, “for that feminine touch.”

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be turning these zombies on or off anymore. This whole apocalypse thing has my head scrambled. Perhaps I’ll waste the rest of my existence huffing away at some of Demeter’s other choices, like vinyl, thunderstorm, paperback, or pruning shears.